Monday, December 21, 2009
The Final Countdown!
Anyway, last week I attended the company holiday party for my new gig and I'm feeling pretty psyched about it. Obviously my soon-to-be boss had made people aware of the fact that I would be in attendance, so we got a lot of friendly greetings. I'm also psyched to know that there are some young folks in my department, including a potential car-pool buddy and that several of them are into the lunch-time workout routine. This is a much missed attribute of my work/life balance right now. Having a 30 minute lunch (who do we work for, the gestapo?!) is not conducive to, well, much of anything. An hour lunch that includes a workout? That's what I'M talkin' 'bout.
Having met some of the folks that I'll be working for has made this whole transition period that much more tolerable and that much less fear-inducing. I'm getting really excited to start the new gig and work with some really smart peeps.
Which brings me to: GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE. I have the rest of today and then 3 more days of work at this place before the end of the year. Gah! So close, yet so far. I had a conference call with the dude who is taking over my role on Friday and he gave me a list of like 8 things to complete before I'm done. Seriously? No, but really though?
I've done 3 and I think I deserve a purple heart for that. I think I can bang out one more and then I'm going to focus my energy on not burning the building down. Don't even get me started on how much I detest our CEO who is complaining about how hard it is to do business in the US (legally I can't say what our operating profit is, but suffice it to say that most companies would kill to have that kind of a %). But, poor ol' Dave Farr is lamenting how hard it is to do business in the US, so he's not going to invest in the US anymore. Just "emerging markets". And despite a 29% decrease in profits he decided to give himself a 1% raise. Makes sense, right?
No, but seriously don't get me started on that guy. I'm just glad I don't have to work for him anymore. (edited to add: my boss is a cool cat. I really enjoyed working for him and he's a stand-up guy. I just mean the big CEO like 12 layers above me. I'm not his biggest fan.)
For all of my loyal and interested readers, I think we have come to a decision re: the beloved VW R32. (Notice how I said "I think..." That leaves the door open still, doesn't it?!). We've decided not to buy it. I guess. I dunno. I guess it just doesn't make good financial sense right now. *sigh*
One thing that helped to reinforce this decision actually, is that I had to borrow Junebug's Civic this weekend. I must have been drunk on the fantasy of owning an R32 when I suggested that I could commute to work in the Civic. I freakin' hate that car. Although it's only partially the car's fault that I hate it. The fact that I get in it and there are random clothes, 200 canvas grocery bags, two empty oatmeal cannisters, a frozen water bottle, 1 cup of de-salted (read sucked on) pistacchio shells in the cup holder, two old yoga mats, a witches hat (from two halloween's ago), random school supplies, an assortment of fake flowers, etc makes me want to poke my eye out. It is FILTHY. Additionally, in the 6 years that Junebug and I have known each other I don't think I have ever gotten in that car without the out of gas light coming on. I'm not even exaggerating. It's actually kind of amazing because it defies the laws of physics and runs on pure oxygen without the need for fuel. I mean, I can only assume this is true because it has literally never had gas in it in 6 years.
Just running a few short errands in that car put me in a bad mood. I'll be keeping my TDI, thankyouverymuch.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Fort Rock (& Ice)
I sort of thought after the weather we got last week that I'd be hanging up the Yeti and the Felt in the garage, locking the door, and not opening it again until April. But, man! Yesterday gave me hope! Aaron, Todd, and I got a solid 2.5 hours of riding in yesterday and probably only rode 50 feet worth of it on dirt. The rest was snow and/or ice.
That's where things got a little dicey. Aaron and Todd had studded tires; I did not. But, after a couple of miles of getting settled into the slipperiness, I actually got pretty comfortable and confident. The worst parts were the iced over wooden bridges through the marshy areas. Those were treacherous and I had to really hone in on my zen riding.
Zen riding can be draining. It requires concentration, but simultaneously you have to let your mind go sort of blank. You have to just flow with the bike as it moves. You can give it suggestions, but don't try to drive it. Of course, after a few hours of this I was tapped out and flailing. The flailing led to frustration which led to demoralization which led to more flailing and so on.
But, that was nothing that a few war stories over a beer and a burrito couldn't remedy.
Dilemma
Alright, maybe that's not the right question, but here's my dilemma: where do you draw the line between being a good doobie and not being a good doobie? Let me put it to you this way: we try to lead a pretty low key existence. We live in a small, old house that we're constantly trying to make more efficient, we work as close to home as we possibly can, we grow our own vegetables, we donate a fair bit of moolah to charities, we buy locally whenever possible. We try to be good, community building type citizens. We've got really fuel efficient cars and I ride my bike to work as long as the weather permits. We spend our money on our house, and traveling (ok, I admit we both have a weak spot for shoes and jackets, but in the grand scheme? Could be worse.).
So the problem is that I have a deep and enduring love affair with cars. And at the top of thelist of cars that I have consistantly lusted after since, oh, about the age of 6 is the VW GTi. Yep. The original pocket rocket. I mean look at the classic 1984 Rabbit GTi!
How could you not want one?! Even after 25 years I still want to drive that bad boy. All 90 horsepower!
My new buddy Aaron, who lives across the street and-oh-by-the-way is also a sales rep for Scott Bicycles (did I mention I love him?) has the pinnacle, ultimate, incredible and most drool-worthy of GTi's ever built.
Only his is black.
See, the thing is, we're not just talking about your run-of-the-mill GTi here (not that any of them are run of the mill). This is the rare R32. Not only does this baby have 240 horsepower, but it has AWD. It's like an Audi TT with the functionality of a hatchback. And I think it's better looking than a TT. And the sound?! Oh my God, the sound. It has this throaty, gutteral, growl that makes my heart go a flitter. Seriously? An AWD GTi?
So, Aaron has offered this sweet machine up for sale and I am in major internal debate as to whether or not I should take the plunge. Really, the ONLY hang up is that it isn't great on gas. It's not TERRIBLE, but it definitely isn't going to be winning any awards for daintily sipping petrol. I mean, it's still probably better than your average compact SUV. And about 1000 times more fun to drive.
So, my wise, loyal, and gigantic readership (i.e. Junebug), what should I do?
The current thought is that we buy the dream car, but I commute in the Civic. Junebug would adopt my beloved TDI (I mean, it really wouldn't be fair if I made Junebug drive the Civic when I have a sweet TDI AND an R32. Right? Right? Or would that be ok....) But 3 cars? Does that make me a bad person?
Am I over thinking this? Is there really any chance at all that I would regret owning that car? If I could paste an audio clip of the exhaust sound, you'd have your answer.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
That was lame
Two absolutely thrilling things have happened since last I posted.
1. After 3 years of home-ownership I have FINALLY replaced my thermostat with a programmable one. Being the handy, tool-laden, Johnny Fix-it guy that I am, I had that baby swapped and programmed in a mere 45 minutes. Not bad considering the box said it can be done in 15... (That PE license is really showing through, huh?)
2. I had a successful trip to the grocery store. I am both proud and ashamed to admit that my beautiful wife does 99.9% of the grocery shopping. But, in my defense, it really works a lot better for JB to do the shopping since she is...shall we say, more discerning than I am? When I was a single dude I had grocery shopping down to a science. I knew exactly where to find my oreos, velveeta shells and cheese, and honey nut cheerios. I was in and out of that place in 7 minutes flat. On the rare occasion that I am sent to the grocery store to pick up a few things I inevitably get the wrong version. "No, sweetie. This is the low-fat, organic cottage cheese. I wanted the fat-free, organic, free-range cottage cheese." You see my point. Anyway, tonight's foray to the Can'tafford (and by "Can'tafford" I mean "Hannaford") was a total success. I accurately selected the 1/2 gallon jug of, Sugar-free, 40-calorie, Vanilla flavored Almond Breeze for $3.19.
In fact, I'm feeling so good about it I have no problem giving a shout out to JB for a) knowing that I am a worthless pig and need PRECISE directions about labels, locations, colors, price, etc and b) actually having all that information tucked inside her brain so that she could email her request to me for my drive home. Dang, we make a good team.
Wintry Mix
But other than that life is pretty good, actually. Thanks for asking. My Gram is kicking ass and taking names and kicking it Hospital-room style. She's mobile (walked down the hall yesterday. Wait! She walked to the bathroom THEN down the hell. Uh huh. Oh yeah.). She looks like her ol' self again and she's back to being chatty Kathy. Er, Mary.
Anyway, the other good thing is I'm banging out a lot of crap-I-don't-care-about-anymore at work. Surprisingly, I still derive a sense of satisfaction for checking the stuff off the list. It gives me hope that I won't be an unmotivated, lazy slob for the rest of eternity. You can't get me down, Emerson!
Oh, and I also kinda splurged on a special treat. I've always wanted a nice pair of brown boots, so I got me a pair. I won't divulge what kind or how much they cost, but I will divulge that I ebayed them up and got m'self a good deal. And they are comf!
Since today's weather is pretty much putting the nail in the coffin as far as my cycling is concerned, I will now have to regale you with stories of either yoga or weight-lifting. Neither one of these activities make for the same degree of hilarious stories (remember how hilarious my cycling stories are?!!!), but maybe I can make 'em entertaining.
Like, for example, last night. My yoga instructor extraordinaire (let's call him Jay Z due to his hord-corps gangsta rapper background) was gone for a coupla days and so the classes I went to while he was gone were a bit more mellow than I am used to. No prob. I like to shake it up a bit. Y'know, change up the rhythm. But then last night, it was another level 1 class and it was the same ol' same ol', yadda yadda. I was really ready to get my asana kicked, but we just did more warm-up stuff. What the ding dang? So, I sort of did the whiny seven year old head cock thing like "oh, man!" Well, Jay Z saw me do it and threatened to bust a cap.
See? I told you yoga stories are full of hilarity.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Craptastic!
How, you ask, could anyone earn THAT much good karma capital?
In addition to the nightmare that my poor Gram has gone through over the past 6 days, my folks have been dealing with a bit of a plumbing problem of their own. You see, Monday morning they had an overflowing toilet episode. Luckily it was just the soapy water from the washing machine, but it still made a nasty mess.
My dad (being the diligent, thrifty, Yankee that he is) bought one of those snakes to try to noodle out that plumbing blockage on his own. He systematically made his way through the plumbing system trying to ferret out the problem. Clever guy, he is. He made it all the way down to the basement where the poopie pipe goes out to the septic system. He knew it was all clear to this point, so he popped off the cover and....
Splergselpgheckerspelighepohorg
Out sprayed the...the, um....er, the... Well, you know. That stuff sprayed all over the place and got him right in the chest. Frantically he tried to get that cover back on, but the damage was done. It was a stinky situation. Shitty, even.
Now, a lesser man would have just gone over to the nearest floor joist and tied a noose for himself (that's what I would have done). But, dad got that crap all cleaned up and the basement is sparkly clean. He then took a bath in a bucket and called the plumber.
So, the moral of this tale is that it is important to keep your pipes clean, whether they be in your heart or full of crap. The end.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Busch Gardens
Ay yi yi. The last few days have been a little crazy. After the high of getting a kickass jobby job, things kind of took a turn for the worse. My poor little Gram had a heart attack on Friday morning and had to go to the hospital. Luckily it was a "minor" heart attack (which seems analogous to being "a little" pregnant) and her heart wasn't permanently damaged. However, as they started doing a battery of tests they realized that things were pretty serious. As in, open heart surgery serious.
After much excruciating hemming and hawing, it was decided that Gram was going to go for the surgery instead of having stents put in since the likelihood of the stents being successful was in question. She seemed undeterred by the fact that there was going to be a long and brutal recovery period from the surgery. She just wanted to get it done and move on. She's amazing.
Well, she is one tough cookie. She had a quadruple bypass and took it like a champ. Her heart is pumping strong, her arteries look great, and she is resting comfortably in the ICU (still sedated) as we speak...er, I mean, as I write this. She'll be relazing with her Button Club buddies in no time.
So, way to go Gram!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
On the importance of chamois creme.
I'm pretty stoked about it. The timing works out great. I get to collect my severance package AND have uninterupted income. That makes for a nice little nest egg.
And by "nest egg" I mean "cyclocross bike". And perhaps a few other special treats?
Today was an interesting thanksgiving. It was our year to spend with Junebug's mom, but she wanted to head to the Cape for the weekend, so she, Paul, and Nellie stopped by for breakfast. Which was cool, because even though we didn't get the traditional turkey gorge-fest, we had a really relaxing day. We went to a movie. I got a lot of my off-season training in (peanut butter M&Ms) and then we went over to Larry's to play Wii.
II wiish II could say thiis wiithout braggiing, but II kiick ass at Wii.
And by "kiick ass" I mean "suck".
But it is almost as much fun as riding my Yeti thirty miles on tight, technical single track in 40 degree rain. Which reminds me! Tomorrow is the annual Turkey Burner at Lake Massabesic over near Manch-vegas. Last year's ride was a death march. That's not true. Ok, it is true. I mean, I loved it, but it was cooold and wet and exhausting. It got to the point where I just wanted to burst into tears and cry out "Please, God! Why do you hate my raw, chafed, red butt? Whyyyy?"
So, of course I'm considering doing it again tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be a repeat of last year. Awesome.
Speaking of muddy, difficult rides, I'd like to tell you about my first Cyclocross race. No really. You're going to like it. I mean, what isn't entertaining about a bunch of grown men wearing tights and riding their bikes in circles, jumping off them from time to time in order to awkwardly hurdle over man-made obstacles?
Anyway, my "friend" Evan "The General" Patten lent me his single speed 'cross bike. Thanks, pal. The race started out by sending all 30 or so starters through a 30 foot long, 6" deep puddle. Ok, good. That answers the question about whether or not I would need to pack my stuff in garbage bags for the ride home. The course proceeded to wind through a grassy field, then a tight turn over a stone wall and into the woods with a huge muddy hill to run up. Then some double track through the woods, back into the field, back into the woods, back into the field, and then back into the woods. With me? Then a slippery, muddy descent into a mud puddle so that we were positioned to climb back up a muddy hill, through a barn, then over some barriers and around again through the mud. See what I mean? It all makes perfect sense.
Lap one wasn't too bad. I think I actually rode up the first muddy hill. By the second lap, though, my knees wanted to explode from trying to mash the gear (as much as I wanted to type gears, there was only one gear) as I was trying to ride through the field. I am ashamed to admit that I had to PUSH the bike up the slightest uphill because the mud was so deep. This hill was easily only 1/3 as steep as your average wheelchair ramp. Yeah. I'm not kidding.
By the fourth lap I was in a euphoric daze and was no longer able to send or receive feedback to my legs. I don't even know if I rode the bike at all on the last lap or if I just ran the whole thing.
The good news was that I gave my teeth a mud facial (that's good for them, right?) and I fell in love with psychocross. I think I finished 9th in the Cat 4 race, which was respectable.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Conspiracy
1. I am working at a place that is shutting down in a few months (have I mentioned that yet?) and I have a severe case of the "F*&@# Its".
2. It is the day before a 4 day weekend that will be filled with delicious food and quality time with my beautiful bride.
3. I have been forewarned of an impending job offer, but prolly won't receive it before the day of giving thanks.
So, those three sichee-ations are adding up to today being excruciatingly long and tough to muddle through.
To lighten the mood, let's think of a few things to be thankful for in preparation for tomorrow, shall we?
First, I am thankful that JB and I spent a solid 1.5 hours each working on our clothes situation. Not only did we have a pile of "clean" laundry the size of Mount Kilimanjaro in our guest room, we also took some time to sort out the stuff we don't wear anymore. This was both freeing and distressing (dis-dressing. Get it?! Ha!). We had to be brutally honest with each other that some of the clothes that we've been wearing since, oh, high school have served their time, but need to die. I got rid of some t-shirts that I've known and loved for a very long time. So, there were some small victories, but there were also some disappointments. I don't think I was able to eliminate a single stretched-out, pilly, faded pair of JB's yoga pants. Not one. Mind you, she has about 30 pairs. Still has 30 pairs.
I digress.
Second, I am thankful that I got to spend time with my family this past weekend. We had great fun celebrating Libby's first year of life. I am also thankful that we will spend time with my MIL and Sis-In-Law tomorrow morning without having to drive to the Cape to do so. Not only that, but we will be participating in a rousing competition of Wii Fit tomorrow evening at my FIL's. It will be Team Goss vs. LD^2. Better bring my A game.
And Thirdly, I am thankful that writing this blog has brought me 20 minutes closer to the end of this neverending day.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
PSA: Nail clipping
It is inappropriate behavior to clip your nails while working in a quiet office environment. If your boss, who has an actual office with walls and a door, can hear you clipping your nails in your cubicle 20 feet away you need to cut that crap out. Seriously. Don't do it.
Thank you. This has been a public service announcement.
Baystate CX.
See, if I weren't so darn competitive with myself I would just go and not worry about where I place or how fast I go or any of that other meaningless stuff. But, instead, if I don't do well then I'll beat myself up for starting my lazy season much too early and not doing what I say I'm going to do every year: stay in shape over the winter.
B'ah!
Still reading? Really?!!
Ok, well maybe you'll find this interesting. Tonight I'll be going to yoga and my beautiful bride is going to be assisting Jonas for the first time. I get to be her dummy, which is a scenario we're both pretty accustomed to. I will say that the one good thing about the off season is that I get my yoga on. It's good and restorative after a season of upper-body neglect and lower-body abuse. It sort of gets me all equalized again.
Holy crap it is hard to come to work these days. Knowing that they are shutting down the place in a few months makes it virtually impossible to care. It's not that I don't have things to do, because I do. A lot of things, actually. But I just don't care anymore!
Monday, November 23, 2009
E I E I Eolian
Anyway, had a great Saturday with a nice and easy 42 mile ride with McWrath and some new friends. Then a celebratory drink with some close friends who are recently engaged. We did some scheming for a possible 5 day adventure to Costa Rica on the cheap. Pretty pumped about that. Then a little b'day soiree Stark Street style. Sunday brought coffee, frisbee, balsa wood airplanes, and a family shindig complete with sheet cake. Killer.
Today I had an "informational interview" which is just code for me having to buy someone else lunch in order to grovel for a job that doesn't even exist. But, the guy was nice and at least paid lip service to 'keeping in touch' as the business grows. The company sounds really cool, actually, and the guy was really nice. They develop wind farms which isn't quite as sexy as designing bicycles, but pretty close. (Sadly, I'm not even kidding.)
I don't have any cool pictures from my bike ride, the family shindig, or any of the other fun stuff I did this weekend. But I do have a picture I took late last night with my phone. Check out these cool customers:

I like Fiona's squinty eyes. She looks like she should be hanging out at a jazz bar, don'tcha think?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
And word is born
Aaannnnnddd begin...