Craptastic!

I don't know if you believe in karma, but I do. And let me tell you something. My folks just earned the mother load of karma points. They are now eligible to park in handicap spaces, steal bicycles, flip off old ladies, and never leave another tip in a tip jar ever again. Basically, they have so many karma points saved up after this morning's shenanigans that they can pretty much do whatever the frick they want for the rest of their lives.

How, you ask, could anyone earn THAT much good karma capital?

In addition to the nightmare that my poor Gram has gone through over the past 6 days, my folks have been dealing with a bit of a plumbing problem of their own. You see, Monday morning they had an overflowing toilet episode. Luckily it was just the soapy water from the washing machine, but it still made a nasty mess.

My dad (being the diligent, thrifty, Yankee that he is) bought one of those snakes to try to noodle out that plumbing blockage on his own. He systematically made his way through the plumbing system trying to ferret out the problem. Clever guy, he is. He made it all the way down to the basement where the poopie pipe goes out to the septic system. He knew it was all clear to this point, so he popped off the cover and....

Splergselpgheckerspelighepohorg

Out sprayed the...the, um....er, the... Well, you know. That stuff sprayed all over the place and got him right in the chest. Frantically he tried to get that cover back on, but the damage was done. It was a stinky situation. Shitty, even.

Now, a lesser man would have just gone over to the nearest floor joist and tied a noose for himself (that's what I would have done). But, dad got that crap all cleaned up and the basement is sparkly clean. He then took a bath in a bucket and called the plumber.

So, the moral of this tale is that it is important to keep your pipes clean, whether they be in your heart or full of crap. The end.